Was accused thug E.J. Woods sent packing by Neuheisel, or did he just realize that he was meant to be a trojan?

We’ll never know the real reason, but UCLA Safety E.J. Woods is leaving UCLA.  He is transferring to Santa Monica College for a year, and will then attempt a return to the Pac-10, possibly at usc.  Woods is currently charged with six counts of Battery and Sexual Battery during three different incidents, so usc may just be a perfect fit.  Birds of a feather fly together. 

With sc’s reputation for having its athletes beat the rap, South Central may be the ideal destination for the young man who wasn’t thriving in regards to the Westwood depth chart.  With the sc legal machine working its magic, Woods wouldn’t have to worry about these pesky legal proceedings.  And then he could just blend in, amongst his own kind.

But the question remains, did he really just up and leave, Continue Reading »

Ex-trojans still dominate… the Police blotter, as usc Basketballer Stais Boseman gets arrested in relation to a CARJACKING

Maybe he was out celebrating the landmark hiring of Kevin O’Neill as new usc Basketball Coach?

Chalk up one more STEAL for ex-usc Basketball player Stais Boseman.  Actually, let’s wait for the Referees to consult the instant replay, because at this point in “celebrity” arrests, everything is just “alleged.”

But the “story” remains that Boseman was picked up by the LAPD down on Crenshaw, and arrested on a Suspicion of Carjacking charge.  He could be completely innocent, or Continue Reading »

Tie a Yellow (and Purple) Ribbon:  Magic phone it in from long distance and don’t connect, while Lakers dial up Rings, as Kobe and Ariza answer Call (of Greatness) in easy win that will have L.A. hanging up another banner after cutting off Orlando and NBA Finals in just 5 games

Shaq Who?

Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers have restored order to the NBA, and brought back the Championship trophy to L.A. where it belongs.  And, WOULD YOU BELIEVE that it took a final score of 99-86 for the Lakers to gain CONTROL from the KAOS?  Let’s just say that if any Orlando fans say “Missed it by THAT much,” they better be holding their hands really FAR apart.

The planets in the NBA Universe had started to be put back into alignment a while back, when the Lakers aligned with Kobe instead of Shaq during “The Feud.”  Many fans and Kobe-Haters wanted to retain Shaq and lose Kobe, as they all parroted the famous line “Kobe will never win a Title without Shaq.” Continue Reading »

Ice Fisher:  In early rounds and early in Game 4, Fisher couldn’t shoot fish in a barrel, but with ice-water in his veins, he reels in Orlando ice-holes, sinking a three to force O.T., and another one in O.T. to win the game, as Lakers hook a commanding 3-1 series lead

FISH GUTS THE SOLE OUT OF ORLANDO –

It’s O-Fish-el — Phil Jackson knows whom to trust, and Kobe Bryant is not a one-man team.

The Orlando Magic attended The School of Fish on Thursday night, and they flunked out… probably right out of the Finals.  The Lakers’ much-maligned Point Guard Derek Fisher overcame a slow start to hit the two biggest shots of the game, as L.A. took control of the best-of-seven series, 3-1, with a 99-91 Overtime victory.

Some fans (including some Bruin/Jordan Farmar fans) were calling Jackson an idiot for not replacing Fisher in the Lakers’ rotation. Fisher had been slumping miserably since the Playoffs began, and Jordan Farmar and Shannon Brown were showing flashes of big potential.  But Jackson showed total faith in Fisher, giving him lots of minutes as the Finals began.  And Fisher did not disappoint, making very valuable contributions on both ends of the court during all 3 Finals games. Continue Reading »

SC’s Basketball Coach “resigns” (but leaves scandal behind);  The Magic and Superman earn Game 3 win (but are still behind 2-1); Troy Superfan’s $100 Million dino flick tanks, earning less than $20 Mil (finishing miles behind “The Hangover”);  And Pom Pom tries to screw Neuheisel’s kids (leaving no child behind), by banning them all from the sidelines

Unreal.  When I wrote yesterday’s article about Tim Floyd being sc’s scapegoat, I had no idea that at the same time I was writing it, Tim Floyd was writing his letter of resignation.  Of course the question remains:  Did he leave by choice, or was he forced out?

His letter laments his lack of enthusiasm for the job.  Well, what kind of lunatic would be enthusiastic about a team that’s about to be hit with NCAA sanctions, and that just saw every good player leave the squad?  But is that any reason to bail on your commitment?  The overused analogy of rats fleeing a sinking ship comes to mind, but isn’t the Captain supposed to go down with the ship?  Yes, but Floyd is not the Captain of this Love Boat — Tim is more like Gopher.  Mike Garrett is Captain Stubing – with Pom Pom as First Mate – and by throwing Gopher overboard, Stubing may be hoping to save Carroll and himself. Continue Reading »

TO SAVE A SACRED (CASH) COW, A SACRIFICIAL LAMB IS BEING OFFERED UP BY SC FANS (WHO ARE STILL “LION” TO THEMSELVES)

The problem with building a respectable Basketball program is that you can’t brag about being a “Football school.”  This will no longer be an issue for usc.

The only problem with calling sc a Football school is that it is an insult to the word “school.”  In fact, all the other schools complain, and say it dilutes the value of the word when it gets applied to usc.

When the trojans bribed O.J. Mayo to come to usc, some people thought that he would put sc Basketball on the map.  Between him, and Continue Reading »

Lakers are lucky, charmed, and 2-0, as Orlando’s Stars show Heart, but Courtney Lee’s marshmallows go soggy, allowing L.A. to milk out a 101-96 win in Overtime

This is the way it was supposed to be.  The Lakers aren’t really 25 points better than the Magic.  These are actually two pretty evenly-matched teams, but Orlando relies more on outside shooting, and is therefore more inconsistent.  In Game 1, the nerves of being in their first Finals in 14 years was too much to overcome on the enemy court, but in Game 2, Orlando performed as advertised.

The game was tight throughout, as neither team could get an Offensive run going.  The 1st quarter ended in a 15-15 tie, which was the lowest-scoring 1st quarter in Finals History.   The Lakers took a 5-point lead into halftime, despite the 2nd quarter awakening of Rashard Lewis, who scored 18 of Orlando’s 20 points in the period.  Continue Reading »

Kobe’s Allied Forces Fight the Good Fight All the Way, and Lay it on the Line to turn Orlando’s powerful Superman into an Ordinary Man in 100-75 Triumph

But HOLD ON — Even though L.A. Tore the Roof Off tonight, and the Writing is on the Wall, it’s Just a Game, and Orlando will Never Surrender until the Lights Go Down.

Kobe Bryant had nothing to prove… Not to anyone who actually knows Basketball.  Sure, he has his detractors who think he is a selfish player, but the rest of the World realizes that he DOES try to involve his teammates, he IS the best player in the League, and, he is one of the Top 10 players in History.

Despite the widespread support, Kobe played in Game 1 of the NBA Finals like he DID have something to prove.  His 8 Rebounds and 8 Assists are indicators of his increased activity and heightened court awareness, and his 18 3rd quarter Points sparked him to a Finals Career High 40 Points. Continue Reading »

The best thighs in life aren’t free… but you can get them here at BeatSC(.com).  THAT’S, what you want (That’s what you want…)

Your love doesn’t pay the bills.  And neither does NOT having ads on this site.  So, buy a t-shirt, or request a different, (non-copyrighted) design or slogan, and I’ll have it tailor-made for you.  And tell a friend.  Meanwhile, enjoy the following THIRTY photos:  Some of the best free entertainment the Internet has to offer.  And Beatles fans should mouse over the photos for Fab Four-related captions.  Roll up!

Continue Reading »

The “Tories” are the Toast of the Town, but King James is just Toast:  Joe knows, Hunter crows, Tori glows, but LeBron blows

“Amazing Tories”

A long time ago, the California Angels had a great Color Commentator named Joe Torre.  Joe was a former ballplayer who knew the game inside and out, and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind.  He had a kind personality, that was not lost behind the immense Baseball knowledge. 

Angel fans were sad to see him go, when he left the broadcast booth.  Joe became the Manager of the New York Yankees, who dominated the American League during his tenure, winning 4 World Championships.  Angel fans continued to like Torre, though, because the Angels were the ONLY team in the League to have a winning record against Torre’s Bronx Bombers.

Now Joe is the successful Manager of the Dodgers, Continue Reading »

All Hale Kobe Bryant, Trevor Ariza, and the Lakers’ fearless crew, as they cast away the Nuggets 119-92, and look to avoid a re-run of last season’s un-comedic NBA Finals Series Finale

The next one’s for the Whole Ma-gilla(gan).  Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Gilles?

The Lakers’ tiny ship was tossed, but not only does Professor Phil Jackson know how to build a radio out of two coconuts;  He can also fix a hole in a boat.

The Lakers’ Cruise Ship to the NBA Title was taking on water as they struggled with Utah, Houston, and now Denver, but the Millionaire Movie Star Kobe Bryant was able to gingerly rally the troops and fight off the headhunters.  In fact, the domination was so complete, that Game 6 became “a three-hour bore.  A three-hour bore.”  But winning a THIRD straight series was still a Howell for which Laker fans have been Thurston. Continue Reading »